Jennifer Aniston as Barbra Streisand in Harper’s Bazaar made headlines everywhere yesterday. And then the real Barbra showed up a gala for the Cedars-Sinai Heart Institute Women’s Centre last night just to make sure we know her highlights are better than Jen’s. Please. The broad looks great. Always.

It was also announced yesterday that Barbra will be honoured during Grammy week next year for her philanthrophic endeavours by MusiCares.

These are not faces we know anymore. Interesting noses, unorthodox features, faces you remember, this is not a face acceptable on The Hills.

When I think of Barbra, I think of the movies. Those great movies this generation of Stupid has no time for. I also think about my mother. It’s the nails. My mother, all of her life, has had long, LONG nails. Like Barbra’s nails in The Way We Were. Only my mother won’t change her nail style. She could be hooked up to a dialysis machine back when her kidneys failed and she’d always have those goddamned nails.

When I was younger and my parents were divorced and she moved back to Hong Kong, I’d spend every summer there with her. One year she was bedridden for almost a month and made me play Woman in Love over and over again. “It’s a right I defend” is one of my favourite lyrics of all time. So dramatic, and my ma would croak it out it in her sh-tty English and I would imagine she’d be singing it to my dad and hoping maybe their marriage wasn’t so broken after all. They’re back together now.

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