My favourite porn after Pitt Porn. Or maybe even better than Pitt Porn…because it’s more readily available.

No matter. The point is I love when David touches Victoria. I love believing naively that he wants her. I loved their dirty contrived spread in W Magazine and I love, love, love this new ad for Intimately Beckham – the couple’s signature fragrance.

Check the way his left arm is looped around her neck clasping her shoulder possessively. And the expression in his eyes. Whatever it is he’s doing with his lips to her ear…am swooning. I can’t… I can’t… breathe.

As always, I buy what they sell. I buy the idea. And if there was ever a leaked video, you bet your concrete tits I’d be first in line to watch.