Oh Jesus.

I’d rather see the Beyonce armpit pose than have to endure another edition of Celebrity Belly Cupping. Unfortunately, due to the rise of the Motherhood Industrial Complex, since Motherhood is the ultimate Whitewash, Belly Cupping is never going away.

Here’s Fergie belly cupping at the Kids’ Choice Awards -- how appropriate -- this weekend. Oh look. They even gave us the Husband AND Wife version. And it’s too bad. Because this dress is awesome. And she looks so happy, having waited so long and tried so many times, and the pure joy on her face should be enough... without having to spoil it with the grossness of the belly cupping.

Like, we get it. You don’t have to point out that you put your dick in there and then a baby is happening here. Are we really a society that needs pregnancy explained through visual aids? F-ck.