Ben Affleck pretty much said it during his speech – Gone Girl was recognised as the Best Film, or something, I don’t know what they call it, at the Hollywood Film Awards and, as he pointed out, there were no other nominees.

Mostly though, Ben’s speech was about his dick. Once again, he brought up the fact that we see it in the movie. That went on for almost a minute. And then he decided to turn it into a comedy routine about David Fincher. He also thanked the cast, naming several of the actors sitting at the Gone Girl table…except not, and I’ve watched this video twice, Emily Ratajkowski, the model from the Blurred Lines video who plays Nick Dunne’s girlfriend. At one point, Ben was actually sitting beside her during the show, but I’m told that he really didn’t spend much time in the ballroom, taking his seat only for a few strategic camera shots (likely pre-agreed) and then spending the majority of the evening backstage. For what it’s worth, for those of you who are still wondering whether or not those rumours they hooked up are true, there’s some information for you to analyse. And this: Emily went to the official after-party and he did not.

As for whether or not there was a Bennifer moment – because Jennifer Lopez was a presenter – she was dropped off in the back, she went on stage, and then she was picked up almost immediately after. (Like I said, no one really wanted to be there.) So there likely would have been no opportunity. Which sounds about right. If they were ever going to give us something to talk about, they’d at least save it for a real award show, you know?