According to the Daily Mail, Benedict Cumberbatch’s son has been named Christopher Carlton Cumberbatch. CCC. I have thoughts, as if you didn’t know.

I don’t usually care about a monogram, but there’s something about the CCC that really seems unfinished. I’m not sure why. Maybe I’m thinking of the CCCP? Or there’s this kick ass drop-in choir I’ve always wanted to get to called C!C!C! (for Choir!Choir!Choir!). Maybe what baby CCC needs is some punctuation. Maybe it’s because all the Cs are hard Cs – no Cyrus or Cymbalto or anything.

But mostly I’m just…Christopher? I know a lot of guys named Chris, and so do you. Which is why it seems like such a tired, dad-bod kind of name for a baby, especially coming from a Benedict. This is part of the point, I guess, since apparently his poncy name was a problem for him growing up—Christopher Cumberbatch is, at least theoretically, more approachable, even though it’s got no fewer syllables than ‘Benedict’. 

But I don’t know. Christopher doesn’t seem simple, it seems boring and unexciting, and it’s compounded by the fact that his middle name is just inherited. I’d love to know the more exciting, shocking or weird or odd-sounding names that they left on the list by the bedside table. Tarquin? Oswald? Enoch? I mean, Christopher Cumberbatch isn’t a bad name, it’s just not a thrilling name. Which I guess maybe was the intent, sadly.