Sherlock was honoured by the Crime Thriller Awards last night in London. Here’s Benedict Cumberbatch at the event. He won Best Actor. They hand out knives encased in glass instead of trophies. I have to ask my ma, the Chinese Squawking Chicken, to be sure but I feel like that would be bad luck, giving out knives meant as congratulations and especially putting them up around your home.

Cumberbatch has been busy. He’s working on August: Osage County with Julia Roberts and Meryl Streep, playing an emotionally abused man with a paternity crisis. (God I can’t even imagine the friendship that has likely developed between the upyourassy Benedict and the sanctimonious Julia; it’s too much, really, and if they are paired together during the junket, sh-t, if I’m assigned, that might be the best interview of all time.) There are also rumours that he’s to be the villain in the next Bond. But most interesting are the reports that Cumberbatch will play Julian Assange which, I mean, this is inspired casting, if true.

Everyone has an opinion about all the Assange conspiracy theories and whether or not he’s guilty of sexual assault. But you know, IF he was actually set up for sexual assault, whoever dreamed that up was pretty astute on that call because, well, if there’s anyone who looks like a perv, it’s Julian Assange. You hold up his picture and it’s not hard to convince people of the (alleged) lie... and, um, that kind of almost describes Benedict Cumberbatch’s face too, doesn’t it? Creepy-looking dude playing creepy-looking dude -- who else could it be?!