It wasn’t the best dress ever – this is after all Beyonce – but it wasn’t the worst. In person it was actually quite lovely, even though it doesn’t photograph well. Was particularly impressed by the colour: an inoffensive shade of pink that didn’t scream Vegas, tacky, or Tina Knowles. Do you think Anna Wintour would have allowed a Tina Knowles creating inside her party?

Of course B wasn’t playing. Of course not. Because of course there was only one thing everyone wanted to ask her. And since she and Jay refuse to answer, talking to the press, any press, was not an option.

Instead, Beyonce posed quietly for photographers and then glided up the stairs, seemingly oblivious to the dozens upon dozens of reporters calling out her name. She had a serene smile on her face, a little coy too, but not in a bitchy way, not in a way that implied she was too good for it, but in a way that meant she wasn’t about to engage in something she’s never engaged in before.

Beyonce actually wants privacy in her personal life. Fine. But your weave sucks ass. Can you get an upgrade?

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