Did you see the Carters kiss when Beyonce won her Grammy? Duana texted me about 15 seconds later:

“I just rewound that kiss three times. Did not buy. Am Conspiracy Theorist?”

My reply:
“Well they’ve never been known for their sexual chemistry.”

“Isn’t that the whole point of the album?”

“She’s hot for herself. That’s about it.”

And then Beyonce married Beyonce at the end of the show. See?

Wasn’t that what we were seeing? The angel bride serenading herself? The light coming behind her like she’s been chosen (while highlighting her sculpted waist)? Of course she has vanilla sex with her husband. She saves the great sex for herself.

The black dress we don’t need to talk about. Because it was utterly forgettable.