Even just for a day
Would you roll out of bed in the morning
Or spend most of your life hiding away?

This is Billy Ray Cyrus yesterday in Hollywood at the John Varvatos benefit. There is no reason for that hair. No reason for that … thing… on his chin. It’s not an age thing. It’s a douche thing. This is a douche look.

Like, can you imagine? Imagine it’s your father.

No wonder JailBait Miley Cyrus turned out the way she did.

My dad, he lost his hair at 26 and did the combover for years. He’s also 5 ft 3 and shrinking and wears glasses. Sometimes my mother makes him wear this ridiculous beret and a faux fur coat on extra cold days. It’s super cheesy but because he’s so little, it’s also kinda cute.

I’ll take my dad in his beret and fur coat over Billy Cyrus and his creepy f-ckin’ soul patch.

Photos from AXELLE/Bauergriffinonline.com