She’s been promising us a lifestyle launch that no one’s ever seen before. Well, Blake Lively has just been confirmed as the face of L’Oreal Paris. It’s a big deal for her. L’Oreal has so much money. But it’s not the most original career move anyone has ever made. That’s not to say that this is the super secret unique project she was hinting at. But, as part of an overall “lifestyle” focus, which is what she’s intent to brand herself as these days, we’re not exactly breaking new ground.

An understandable decision for the company though, certainly. Blake Lively is about as “perfect” as it gets, if your definition of perfect is white, blond, leggy, not controversial, not particularly audacious, not known for intelligence or, for that matter, imagination, and she bakes. What’s the problem?

No executive would turn that down. And when she finally has babies and can combine all those qualities with the Motherhood Industrial Complex? Please. How can you lose?

Here’s Blake in Paris yesterday at the announcement. L’Oreal representatives said that she “embodies all the modern codes of Hollywood glamour. She is flashing a substantial swath of upper elegance and sensuality”.

Now would be the time for Kanye West to step in and sh-t on the term “upper elegance”. Ha.

The company’s global president Cyril Chapuy went on to describe Blake as “a beauty icon for a whole generation with her gorgeous gold-dipped hair, luminous gaze and drop dead smile”. Which is kind of hilarious when you consider what Blake said about the opportunity:

"I grew up with the inspiration of their message; 'We're worth it.' What an important value to instil in women. That beauty is rooted in confidence. That is key. That is why I'm so proud to be a L'Oréal Paris woman.”

So he’s holding onto his hard-on while talking about her gold-dipped hair and luminous eyes and she’s all about girl power…? That’s a brand message that totally makes sense, non?

Also attached – Blake out today in Paris in a pair of SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK houndstooth pants.