I was supposed to go to see Lionel Richie and Mimi on tour at the end of this month with my friend Marci. Don’t think I have to tell you how excited we were. But yesterday an email alert came through telling us that the tour has been postponed…and we still don’t have a replacement date!

Then… then I did something terrible. In my head, I blamed it on Mimi. Because, you know, our butterfly has a certain, um, work ethic. And so I assumed that this was on Mimi. That she wasn’t feeling festive enough to go on tour, or something.

Turns out though that it wasn’t Mimi. It’s Lionel. He needs more time to recover from knee surgery. How could I have doubted the (not so) Elusive Chanteuse!?!? Does this mean I don’t deserve to be a lamb?

How can I fix this?

Well, here’s Mimi looking really, really, REALLY skinny and SO young, like practically an infant, at the Vanity Fair party the other night. It’s not a bad dress actually. And Duana was surprised by it. Because it doesn’t have sequins and it’s not tight. Clarification: it’s not AS tight. You could say this is quite flowy, by Mimi standards…without compromising on the presentation of the tits, always the main event.

I do worry about those tits though. Look at the dents being created at the lower inside corners, seems painful:

She suffers for us, can’t you see? She does this all for us. To look sublime for us she must withstand the hurt.

A quick note though about Mimi’s appearance at Vanity Fair – no shots of Bryan Tanaka with Mimi on the carpet. And I don’t see any shots of him inside either. JLO’s taken Casper Smart to Vanity Fair before. As IF he would ever f-cking get into VF otherwise. Mimi though…well… Mimi either didn’t want him to be photographed there or she knows better than JLO that we’re not here to get our backup dancer/fake lovers to Vanity Fair.