I’ll start with the good, just to pacify the psychotic Brangelinas. As you know, Brad helped out with Habitat for Humanity on Monday in India, and contrary to local reports that indicate he only stayed for half an hour (just in time for pictures), I’m told by 2 sources also involved with the project that Brad actually stayed for the entire time, well past the planned photo opportunity that, yes, had been previously arranged. Brad was apparently reserved but friendly and polite and seemed “very comfortable” around a construction site. The exact description: “he didn’t look awkward, if he was in a tool shed I can imagine him knowing exactly where everything is.” So that’s the good, here’s the sexy. Brad wet for Vanity Fair – some kind of video portrait by renowned artist Robert Wilson that everyone and their eyebrow stylist seems to be losing their sh-t over. WTF??? Wet Brad I can handle. The video…not so much. Hey…maybe it’s just me. Maybe I’m just not “arty” enough. Maybe I’m too uncouth to appreciate the creepy crawly beauty of perversion. But if art is all about personal interpretation, then that is exactly how I’ve personally interpreted Robert Wilson’s disturbing Brad Pitt “Video Portrait”. Watch it for yourself, listen to the voice over, listen as the Scary Hidden Man reads his Sexual Predator Poem, listen carefully to the words: Apples, peaches, pumpkin pie/You were young and so was I/Now that we’ve grown up it seems/You just keep ignoring me I’ll find you anywhere you go/I’m gonna look, high and low/You can’t escape this love of mine…anytime/Well…I’ll sneak up behind you/Be careful where I find you And on and on it goes, the Scary Hidden Man’s voice reading monotonously, Brad just standing there in the rain, the longer it goes, the more you imagine a serial stalker sitting in a small room, watching watching watching, waiting waiting waiting, his mouth watering, his eyes bulging, his breath accelerated, his excitement growing, his appetite violent, and worst of all… his prey oblivious. Now I know I have an active imagination but you watch this and you try, just try to tell me it’s more than a *little* f-ckin’ weird. Especially the squirt at the end timed perfectly for a particular verse in the poem. If art is about symbolism, then yeah…I get it: symbolically f-cked AND symbolically disturbing and just because Brad Pitt has his shirt off doesn’t make it any better. Happy Halloween. Just Jared Source