US Weekly printed a hilarious Valentine’s Day story yesterday about the Brange. According to the magazine, Brad Pitt gave Angelina Jolie a “breath freshening” product as a symbol of his love. The Eat Whatever system includes a gel tablet and breath mints to fix the odour coming from her mouth.

“It is sort of a joke -- and not," a source close to the superstar couple tells Us Weekly of the vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free product. "He always teases her that she has bad breath."

A joke?

Well, you know how controlling these two are about their brand image. This kind of detail does not fit the mission statement. Not at all. So how did it get out there?

It’s the kind of intimate detail that would only be traceable to those in their circle. Which would mean that they’ve been betrayed, because this can’t have been a sanctioned leak. Who then is getting cut off, or fired? And who would risk their relationship with the Brange over such an innocuous story. Even if they were paid to reveal the detail, it couldn’t have been all that lucrative.

Over breath mints?

Definitely not.

If you’re going to betray them for profit, you need to drop a bigger bomb. Jealousy, infidelity, family drama, how the children are -- that’s what earns a solid down payment on a house. Not breath mints.

Which is why I’m more inclined to believe that this tip came from the manufacturer of the breath product, Eat Whatever. The US Weekly article includes a link to the company and several details about how the product works. It’s one thing to accept an outfit from a designer and walk around getting papped to pay back the favour ...but this? I’m not sure this is worth it. And I wonder if it might set a precedent. Be warned celebrities of the perils of taking free sh-t.

It’s also an interesting business practice. A new coat is easy to sell. No one is ashamed of wearing a new coat and being photographed in it. Breath mints...

Who wants to get papped holding breath mints?

Did they make an executive decision then, given that the Jolie wasn’t about to advertise her need for a breath freshener, and sell her out as advertising? Sure, you risk losing her as a customer forever but she was never going to spend that much money on it anyway. Now the public is associating you with her though, and that might lead to a direct cash infusion.

This was the best photo I could find of him leaning away from her on Photo Assumption because of her breath.