Their son Pax celebrates his 7th birthday today. I want a Parisian birthday party. I want to be reincarnated as one of their children.

Here they are in Paris yesterday on a hot air balloon ride and then a private luxury boat party on the Seine. There were balloons and lighty up bendy things for the Chosen One and cakes for all four Brange kids and what a production it all must be. How organised must they be. It’s overwhelming just writing about it, can you imagine planning it?

Anyway, the Brange took the opportunity to make Paris a family trip because the Jolie is junketing there for The Tourist. I love that she still junkets. Brad Pitt doesn’t junket anymore, but the Jolie still does – without a personal publicist. Not that the studio ones don’t work just as well in these situations. They crank their bitches up extra a lot for someone like the Jolie. Oftentimes it’s the publicists who are actually worse than the talent.

As for The Tourist – you know me, I love the Jolie so much, for years I have, and I want her movies to be good, do well. Maybe it’s just the trailer. Maybe Johnny Depp’s character just looks like a bloated loser in the trailer. Maybe in the actual movie he’s hot and cool. Maybe her accent isn’t so annoying. Maybe there’s something resembling a plot. I really, really want there to be. I really, really want this to be more than just a movie for the paycheque and an 8 week vacation in Venice.

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