I love the Jolie but f-ck she cannot dress. What is this? What are these pants? Why are these pants? How did he let her leave the house in those pants? Because you know he’s a styling man. And these are not the pants of a styling woman. If they fight about anything, please let them fight about this. And please let him win.

So why the public outing last night?

The Brange hit up La Dolce Vita in Beverly Hills, taking time off from the kids, conveniently just as Star Magazine is dropping its latest bullsh-t headline: something about the cops being called to their house and her throwing a chair at him. etalk has the advance pages and we’ll cover more of Star’s fantasist story tonight on the show – suffice to say, the whole point of the report is that they can barely stand each other, Brad keeps running away from the temperamental evil Angelina, and oh yes, he can’t stop calling Jennifer Aniston behind her back.

And so the streak continues. Turmoil in Brangeland dominates tabloid headlines for yet another week and so here they are, hand in hand leaving the restaurant, hoping to temporarily quell the swirl of salacious smut surrounding their relationship. For five years they’ve been predicting a split. And still they have not split. This time it’s no different. The Brange is not over, the Brange is not ending, and this was the message they were delivering last night. In ugly satin parachute pants.

Photos from MATEI/RADCLIFFE/Bauergriffinonline.com