Let me just recap for the benefit of those relatively new to the site. And yes…I am definitely headed for hell so save your lecturing. You’re preaching to the converted. Anyway, as I was saying…I’ve developed a celebrity baby theory about how genetically blessed star parents do not necessarily produce genetically blessed star offspring.
The theory breaks down as follows: Hot + hot = Ugly Hot + average = Fairly attractive Average + Average = Hot Horse face stars + gay husbands = Cute Hot + Ugly = Ugly Average + Ugly = Uglier Ugly + Ugly = Donatella Versace
There are certainly exceptions to this rule. Cindy Crawford’s children come to mind. And the Witherspoon clan too. But for the most part, it holds true. Think Kate Hudson. Think Bruce and Demi. Think Julia and Danny. You get my drift? Unfortunately, according to my formula, the Pitts are destined to produce a pretty unattractive kid. Which, I guess, is perhaps the Goddess’s way of balancing things out. Ironically enough, if my theory holds true, it’s Jen and Vince who will deliver the hotness. So there you go Aniston fans. Average always pays off in the end.