Tom Brady went to the Celtics/Lakers game the other night and his hair was styled like this. And then Renee Zellweger was walking around with Bradley Cooper and family yesterday in New York and she was modelling the same bowl. Why is Tom Brady pissing on his hotness by borrowing Renee’s bowl?

That is problem #1. Problem #2 is the Curse of the Freebie Five. Just yesterday, not even 24 hrs ago, I shot Bradley Cooper up to the top. This morning Page Six posted an article about Renee Zellweger wedding dress shopping at Carolina Herrera and hanging out with his parents leading to speculation that the two might be engaged.

It’s not the validity of the story that’s troubling because, obviously, Renee Z is a longtime Herrera client. Please. She doesn’t have to SHOP there, Herrera would custom one for her no problem. And her rep has already debunked the report.

True or not however, the timing is for sh-t. They’re packaging him as the next big name. He has that quality that appeals to girls and to guys. Even Jacek is a fan now after The A-Team. So publicity surrounding him ending his single status, false as it may be, is not the kind of swirl you want around your star. It’s bad enough that most of you don’t understand why he’s with her, it’s definitely not great if you’re thinking he wants to marry her. And it’s not because I think she’s unattractive. It is however totally what she presents.

Coop’s public persona is not terribly unlike many of his characters. He’s pretty loose. He can throw down with Zach Galifiniakis. He’s a Todd Phillips man. He’s funny, he’s engaging, he’s cool, and he doesn’t hard pose his backbones down a red carpet and endanger others with his starving hips. But she tries so f-cking hard. And she really shouldn’t have to. She is a delightful, talented actor and she’s letting those bad voices eat away at her gifts.

And...he loves her.

So it’s actually a bonus then, right? He loves her in spite of herself, and if that truly is the case, I love him back for it. But the analysis, it took us a long time to get here. And the moviegoers don’t spend that much time getting there for their quiver. So the first questions inevitably will be about that great divide: How can this be with that? And what does it say about that when he’s with this? Because this is a girl with a deep complex. Am dying to know how they work.

Photos from and PPNY / GSNY/