We don’t usually bother with stories from IN TOUCH Weekly here because they suck on accuracy. And chances are this one probably is full of sh-t too but it’s so funny, especially with the timing, it being Oscar season and all, that I can’t resist.

According to the magazine, Bradley Cooper was recently dumped by a model called Laura Simpson. Apparently they were introduced by Jennifer Lawrence but Simpson wasn’t into it after only 6 dates because:

“(Bradley) was always touching her feet. It was weird so she broke it off.”

Touching and texting too. Supposedly he wanted her to send him photos of her toes.

I mean...

Here’s Coop, having the year of his career, and trying to be all elite and sh-t with so many nominations, and now someone throws a foot fetish in his face...?


But who?

Is it the same person who keeps telling him his hair is working right now? Because the hair is a problem. And that’s weird because Coop normally has great hair but it’s had a very bad run recently, and at the worst time too. Also maybe the cheesy news anchor smile has to go.