His model girlfriend, Suki Waterhouse, I mean. Because they’re in Paris together. And the paps say this was a “romantic stroll”. And he also had her on his bike for a manly hot ride through the city. And since he speaks, that would have helped too.

But… does he not know she’s only 20? You don’t need to try that hard when they’re 20. When I was 20, all it took was a date that didn’t require the subway. Leonardo DiCaprio would understand this. Leo is the king of minimum effort. See track pants. Dude, you don’t take them to Paris after just two months. You give them Paris too early and they’re going to want marriage, bruh, don’t you know?

Coop is supposed to be Leo’s pussy posse prodigy, an heir at last to the art of modelising. Maybe not quite yet.