You remember that show on MTV? Becoming... Britney. Or Becoming...Pink. They’d pick a civilian and devote an entire team, with a pretty good budget, to recreating a music video with that civilian as the star. Becoming was awesome.

But Glee is not Becoming. Glee is supposed to be a full hour scripted original television programme. Glee, for the first 9 episodes of its first season, was excellent scripted original television programming. So good. But Glee, for all intents and purposes, especially last night, has become...


And while you may have enjoyed it because Britney music is enjoyable, shouldn’t we expect more? Especially from a show that used to be able to do more?

Besides, no one does Britney like Britney. So if you’re going to recreate Britney, frame by frame, I’d rather just watch Vintage Britney. Because while Heather Morris is a very, very skilled dancer, it’s more than just the technical aspect of a Britney delivery. You can hit all the marks, you can pull off all the moves, maybe even better than Britney herself, but you can never, ever duplicate Britney’s It.

Britney’s It was more than a series of steps. Britney infused a crazy vulnerability and irresistible sex appeal on every thrust. She was more It than anyone else. Which is why she broke the ratings. Too good, I guess. Which is why flamed out so fast. And then to see the reality of this flamed out iteration on a show that fell short on her material with a tired, unimaginative interpretation, it just makes her whole tragedy that much more tragic.

More than that though, the uselessness of it all...

I mean, when the best Duana can offer is the colour of Will’s car? This is hurting. And this failing on potential. Because nothing is moving forward.

Rachel’s insecurities are still her insecurities. She feels unloved, not good enough, she has to be #1, all last season, every other episode she had to be #1 over the group, this episode she had to be #1 on Finn – this is not transformation, this is simply transfer. It’s the same construct, over and over and over again, which I suppose it what happens when you approach a show coming backwards.

What songs do I love?

I still have this entire playlist to include on the show.

And this one, and this one, oh and I heard this in the grocery the other day and I think we should fit it in too.

Now let’s jam our characters into contrivances that are DRIVEN BY THE MUSIC...

Instead of the other way around.

So what did we learn this week? Brittany’s full name. Great. When you go to the dentist, Britney Spears is your drug, and she inspires you to behave in a way you’ll end up rejecting after 60 minutes. Great. Lea Michele cannot dance for ass. Great.

And on top of all the stagnation, the stupidest oversight of it all?

That Kurt, who was the most vocal about a Britney homage, who disrespected his teacher Will in front of his entire class when carried away by his passion for the project, did NOT get his own Britney Spears number? What then was the point? Or was it simply to give him a few lines?