What’s the breakfast of champions for southern girls?

According to Jamie Spears…it’s cheese grits!

Perhaps the only amusing minute during 90 minutes of behind the scenes Britney. And at the very least, she seems to have finally found an assistant who actually cares about taking care of her which is more than can be said about most of the people who keep saying they care about her.

So did you watch? Millions and millions watched. They watched because it’s Britney. Because this is the sad truth:

Britney belongs to us.

Britney has no existence beyond being Britney. She’s never known one, she’ll never have one. So if we turned away, what would Britney be? She’d have a better chance finding out the answer to that if she wasn’t thrust into it as an infant. No chance of it happening now.

Duana said it best when we debriefed on it last night:

And her family and her people will have to manage her Truman show existence for the rest of her life. (She’s not even capable or allowed to have a “real” emotion). Nobody takes her anger seriously - because nobody ever taught the girl how to be angry.

(Britney can’t be) upset without smiling and THAT IS MOUSEKETEERISM. Again. She is such a people pleaser she can't put herself first. And the drugs helped her do that and that's why she liked them.

Discuss: People who really, really crave fame like that weren't loved as children. Madonna's pretty open about it - competing with 5-7 siblings for attention is hard, she wanted more. But it seems as though the Spears family was all about Britney by the time she was 7 years old....so what happened to make her lack that love?

My answer is a simple one: parent pimps.

Also heartbreaking?

That she keeps repeating she needs a man. A man to make her happy. For all that posturing about wanting to be a “strong, powerful woman”, at the very end of the day, Britney’s entire raison d’etre, still and always, is to find a boy who loves her.

Oh Britney.

And oh f-ck Madonna!

MuchMusic doesn’t come in HD at my house…thankfully. Because her face is officially more frightening than Granny Nicole Kidman’s. The only part that moves anymore is her lower lip!!!

Oh Madonna. When will you stop?

Oh Britney. Will you ever start?

Attached – Britney in Glamour. To read the entire braindead interview from the magazine, click here.