As previously noted, I love this song. I mean, I’m not saying it changed my life, but it doesn’t pretend to want to either. For what it is – easy, silly, fun – it works. And while I haven’t tried running to it yet, I almost can’t wait to, despite the fact that I actually hate running.

But the video?

The video was…

Well, for starters, the video was way over-edited, as most of her videos are nowadays. There’s not one frame during the dance sequence that lasts more than 2 seconds before it cuts to a different angle which supports the rumour from last week that Britney needed a double during shooting because she simply couldn’t keep up. I don’t doubt it. I don’t think she can put it in sequence anymore. I don’t think she can go beyond two moves before she f-cks up. Which is probably why they had to edit this so tightly.

Does she look half asleep in the wedding dress? I feel like she can barely move her lips to the words. Maybe they made the waist too tight. Because her breasts are ridiculously disproportionate. Also, um, you can tell that that man is a man. Like when “Britney” fights “Fried Chicken”? It’s so obviously a man.

And I guess this is ultimately my sh-t with the video. They have the money. They have a LOT of money. And knowing her limitations, can’t you at least pay to get everything else perfect? More than perfect? Why does it have to be so sloppy?

I wish the Britney of 2001 could have made this video. Imagine this song, imagine her then, making a video for this song. The girl she was in Slave4U. The girl who could hit every f-cking beat. Imagine that girl making this video. And this is the problem, non?

She set that standard. I hold her to that standard. Is it fair to keep holding her to that standard? Well, at that standard it was easier to pretend that she actually had something to do with her work. At this current standard, clearly, she pretty much just shows up… and barely. So if we’re talking fairness, to the fan, and to the consumer, why am I paying more for less?

But here’s the thing about Britney Spears, and this is what they know, this is why they keep selling it. Because no matter how many times she disappoints, I.Still.Care. It’s a very, very rare gift, this is. Increasingly rare. That a star can be so captivating, and for so long, at a time when our collective attention span is so short. Britney has always been relevant.

Photos from