All of them. Please. Shut the f&ck up.

So Britney fired Larry Rudolph, apparently blaming him for sending her to rehab, refusing to be accountable for her own trainwreck. Word is, she deliberately leaked news of his dismissal with friends and associates last week and then of course arranged that paparazzi video message the other day sarcastically refuting tabloid tales about her downfall.

Well now her father has taken exception and chose to release this statement to Page Six:
"When Larry Rudolph talked Britney into going into rehab, he was doing what her mother, father and team of professionals with over 100 years of experience knew needed to be done. She was out of control. Larry was the one chosen by the team to roll up his sleeves and deliver the message, to help save her life. The Spears family would like to publicly apologize to Larry for our daughter"s statements about him over the past few weeks. Unfortunately, she blames him and her family for where she is at today with her kids and career. Larry has always been there for Britney. For this, we will forever be grateful to him."

Don’t disagree with his sentiments but a private apology would suffice, non? I’m sure Larry would have accepted a private apology still?

No. Private is not the Spears way. Which is why the rebuttal wasn’t private either. Britney, through her publicist, released this statement in retaliation:
"I am praying for my father. We have never had a good relationship. It"s sad that all the men that have been in my life do not know how to accept a real woman"s love. I am concentrating on my work and my life right now."

Leslie Sloane Zelnick is Britney’s publicist. If you ask me, she needs to either fire her client or train her client and/or stop allowing her client to write her own press releases because seriously…

What in F&CK does a “real woman’s love” have to do with it? And what would have been wrong with saying this?

“I’m disappointed my father chose to make public what is clearly a private matter. Sadly, my father and I do not agree on many personal issues. I feel hurt and embarrassed by his remarks. Right now, I am focusing on being a mother and on my career. I am grateful for the support I’ve received in the last few months and I ask that you respect my privacy.”

Oh wait. That would actually have been a dignified response…something the Spears Family is incapable of coming being - dignified. Problem is, they’re not only low classy, they are also all learning impaired, which is why Britney is failing so miserably on the personal PR front, as if that mascara makeup disaster with Matt Lauer wasn’t enough last year, she’s now trying to “spread” clarification rumours that she was never an addict but rather suffering from post-partum all along, planting quotes from “friends” who are backing up her claims.

Denial first. Next… relapse?

It’s coming, yes?
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