Too posh to push and too lazy to work out…that just about sums up Britney Spears. NW Magazine reported recently that Britney arranged for a tummy tuck last week immediately following her c-section, eager to get a jumpstart on losing weight. Not surprising, of course. She is after all the poster princess for sloth, as reflected in her choice of husband, and considering that her diet consists of Taco Bell, french fries, and Starbucks I suppose going to the gym to sweat it off the old fashioned way probably isn"t too appealing of an option. Perez is also hinting that the aforementioned tummy tuck was actually a "mini-tuck" and that Britney is in such agonising pain that she"s gorging on Vicodin and replacing food with ciggies. Low.Classy.Forever! But hey - it sounds like the comeback is on track, starting with hosting duties for Kevin"s Halloween album release, workin" on the hustle, puttin" his bitch to work, bustin" her ass getting skinny to hype his joke of a music career. And though I know hope is supposed to spring eternal... right now, the only thing eternal seems to be the vacuum inside her head with room only for boo boos, poo poos, freeloaders, and not much else. Since we"ve saved Whitney, is it too much to think we"ll be able to save Britney? And did you know Christina Aguilera sent over a Petit Tresor basket full of goods to her old friend? Can Dirrrty can save the Dumb??? Photo fromGallery of the Absurd