Fired by her powerhouse lawyer Laura Wasser – who not surprisingly is insisting that the termination of her representation means nothing – and also fired by her management team, Britney has been abandoned by her professional allies and, worse yet, banned from the Chateau Marmont for dragging her chicken fried grease all over the establishment.

All this of course just as a disgruntled ex employee is wading into the legal fray – some bodyguard who worked for her for 3 months is now claiming his conscience has compelled him to come forward with damaging testimony about Britney’s parenting skills: she has nudity issues and uses drugs in front of her children. Shocker.

The bodyguard is being repped by Gloria Allred who appears to be as much a famewhore as Dina Lohan and is currently revelling in her self appointed position as saviour of the Spears Children.

Britney meanwhile is too busy being stupid to be worried even though Roger Friedman is reporting she’s about to lose her kids… like any time. Any time happened to be yesterday afternoon. As of this morning there’s been no official word and Wasser, just prior to handing the case over to another attorney, seemed confident that the 50/50 custody split will remain in tact for now.

Making sense of the information and misinformation surrounding Britney could be a full time job.

And finally, wouldn’t you know it, on the same day all this sh-t goes down, a new photo somehow makes its way to TMZ showing Kevin Federline the doting father at a birthday party at his place for his two young boys.

Coincidence or conspiracy?