Saturday night on X Factor – no variation on the routine, same sh-tty lipsynching, same lame choreography, and still technically inferior but the energy…there was a certain energy, an energy that has been building from Berlin to Paris and then London, an energy that comes from comfort perhaps, from owning a stage again, electrifying a crowd…

She’s not there yet but it’s coming. And she looks AMAZING – photos attached of her leaving X Factor.

It’s a common refrain you hear from performers – remembering the rush. Why they endure the bleeding fingers and the bleeding feet, hours and hours of rehearsal, stress, disappointment, discouragement, self doubt, and criticism: it’s for the Rush. In high school we used to be put on these elaborate Madonna imitations. We copied all the moves from her Blonde Ambition concert, we perfected every routine, and we delivered our performance several times a year on stage during assemblies and concerts, me the backup dancer to my friend Elvi who played Madonna. But even as a secondary entertainer (in so many ways!) that Rush was addictive.

So can you imagine what it must be like for Britney Spears?

She is discovering the Rush again. And there’s no denying on her face – she loves it. Britney is actually having fun up there. It’s the rest of it she could do without.

After X Factor she was supposed to show up at GAY. It ended up being a colossal clusterf-ck. They’d been hinting all week that she would take the stage. They overcrammed the joint until it was bursting and unsafe. They hyped up the crowd with Britney music, Britney teasers. Then they announced she wasn’t coming out because it was too dangerous. Great. A club full of angry ‘mos. Some bailed, some tried to push their way into VIP where she was holding court with a birthday cake. She was apparently not in the mood to celebrate though…

Word is she’s already starting to crack. Because the 4 minute high of her performance only lasts so long. And then it’s the ubiquitous presence of her father, of Larry Rudolph, of having no freedom, and still several days to go before she heads home.

Britney is now in New York, staying til at least Wednesday night. Her father was seen with one of her kids arriving in NYC yesterday. Bit of a bright spot in an already grueling schedule.

Britney on X Factor

Britney at GAY

Photos from