Britney was pulled over for speeding this weekend while driving to Vegas. Amazingly enough, she wasn’t drunk driving. Even more amazing… her outfit. It’s a new classic.

Still…the outfit I can handle. It’s the fingernail biting that grosses me out. I realise it’s a habit, that many people can’t help it. But look at her. Look at her so helpless and stupid and capable of nothing but shoving her fingers in her mouth while being questioned by police. And remember, this twat is mother to two children.

Speaking of…

Here’s Britney this weekend with her turned out feet by the pool trying on wigs and enjoying a cocktail AND a ciggie. Oh and there’s SPF. Now I’m the last to slag a bitch for smoking but even I draw the line around children. Before you put her on the stake and burn her and send those babies back to KFed however, remember…he probably does it too. Poor little boo boos.

And finally…the buzz is building around Britney’s VMAs appearance. Word is she’s working hard and her body would certainly support that. With two weeks to go, the choreography is supposedly “tight” although no one at MTV is rumoured to have a clue what the hell she is doing and of course since this is Lazy Crazy Britney, there is always a good chance she’ll bail, opting instead for a bag of cheetos. Whatever the case, all of a sudden it’s excellent publicity. And Madonna too!

VMAs go down in Vegas September 9th.