Britney Spears went out on Valentine’s Day last week with this “mystery” dude and since then everyone’s been trying to figure out who he is. TMZ says he’s called David. He’s 27 from Atlanta. They were introduced through mutual friends.

Mutual friends?

Who are Britney’s friends?

And what’s the likelihood she’s allowed to be introduced by those friends to other friends?

Please. According to TMZ:

“(David) works for a law firm -- he's not a lawyer -- does "field research" ... kind of a jack-of-all-trades. He's definitely not a wealthy guy.”

Are you, like me, curious about “field research”? If he worked in a lab, you’d be less... intrigued, right? What exactly is “field research” for law firm? I called up my lawyer friends and, well, he’s not at the library researching precedents, if that’s what you were thinking.

“Field Research” is just a nicer way of saying private investigator which is a nicer way of saying he stakes out people and takes their pictures surreptitiously and, um, maybe listens in on conversations. Reminds me, again, of Tyler Hamilton’s book, The Secret Race. Hamilton was a former teammate of Lance Armstrong. When people started coming forward to reveal Armstrong was doping, Armstrong engaged law firms who then engaged “Field Researchers” allegedly to try and dig up dirt, any dirt, on his accusers. Hamilton cites that his phone was tapped. That there were strange men outside his house all the time. That they opened his mail and read his messages.

Is it...kinda like the relationship she had with that pap Adnan Ghalib, only this time the love candidate has been approved by Britney Inc?

Here’s Britney out with her new dog and her kids yesterday.