People Magazine may be buying up all the real estate inside Jennifer Aniston’s ass but CNN has taken a decidedly different approach. Which is very surprising. And amazingly smutty. Mainstream outlets don’t usually go for the snark. Theirs is the clean and friendly approach. This why the Blog began to grow. Because you, me, the collective We were sick of the celebrity press machine spinning bullsh-t covered in sugar.
However CNN’s Showbiz Tonight the other night sounded more like a gossip blog than an entertainment tv show. Thanks to Sarah for the link.
They devoted 9 MINUTES to breaking down the Aniston Fraud.
Yes. 9 minutes of what they call her Love Hoax, straight up calling her out on her PR shenanigans, suggesting that Fabulous at 40! pretends to date people only when she has to sell a movie.
Yes. They discussed her “attention-seeking antics” on the heels of her Golden Globes “flirtation” with Spittle Gerard Butler to promote The Bounty Hunter, comparing it to her convenient Oscar date with John Mayer last year for the release of He’s Just Not That Into You. Then they introduced what they christened the Jennifer Aniston Pre-Movie Checklist noting 3 patented plays that Team Aniston always puts on the field when she wants you to see her at the movies. These plays are as follows:
1. Date a famous guy.
2. Racy magazine photos.
3. Tell-all interview about Brad Pitt
As if all that wasn’t enough, CNN then invited two panellists onto the program to collectively analyse Aniston’s famewhore game together. FULL FRONTAL ASSAULT.
This is almost unprecedented. All in good fun, but it’s extremely rare. And she’ll hear about it too. Stephen Huvane will hear about it and he will punish CNN. He’ll shut them out of her junket room, he’ll kick them off her carpet...
This is how the game works, this is why so many mainstream agencies have to stick their fingers down their throats to be nice. Journalistic freedom? Please. Not with the A list.
Which is why segments like these are so rare. Enjoy it while you can.
Photos from Wenn.com