So last night, another Twitter slapfest broke out, this time between Zayn Malik and Calvin Harris.

#Zaynhasnochill is frequently trending on Twitter, because since he left One Direction, Zayn has been shading everyone. He’s fought with former bandmate Louis Tomlinson (click here for a refresher). He’s fought with the first post-1D producer he worked with, Naughty Boy. He’s shaded his ex-fiancee Perrie’s girl group, Little Mix, by RT’ing support for another band’s single.

And then he came for Taylor Swift. Kind of.

Yesterday, he retweeted a since deleted Tweet that featured two side-by-side quotes: Miley Cyrus talking about not caring how much money she makes going forward, and Taylor Swift, talking about artists getting paid. The original quotes aren’t super relevant because Miley and Taylor’s quotes have nothing to do with one another: Miley was talking about her charity work and Taylor was talking about music streaming. It was a fan account trying to stir up some sh-t for likes.

Zayn retweeted it, and then posted this cryptic message afterwards:

And Calvin Harris, Taylor’s boyfriend, immediately jumped in. Here’s what ensued:

Then there was a bit of trash talk, with Zayn telling Calvin not get his knickers in a twist, and Calvin backing down and telling Zayn he wishes him luck and he has a genuinely nice voice, after Zayn calls him a dickhead…

Um, great you write your own music. But you are a completely unproven solo artist.

So much to analyze here, Lainey and I had a furious text discussion about it. To me, Zayn is Drake Bell. (Who?) He’s a second rate Nickelodeon star who was always trying to start sh-t with Justin Bieber, except Biebs at his worst is 1000 times better than Drake Bell. No one cares about him.

Lainey likens their dynamic to Justin Bieber/Orlando Bloom (never forget – click here if you need a refresher). Zayn is the little punk baiting people, and Calvin, dumbly, took the bait and then backed down. He was particularly dumb to engage on Taylor’s behalf, considering what just happened when she jumped in on Nicki Minaj. Zayn is simply looking for attention and, being a punk, shades people but then always has a way out of it. His out this time: he didn’t mention Taylor by name, he simply retweeted an account. He didn’t say he agreed with Miley or Taylor.

Calvin is 31, Zayn is 22 and is on his own, musically, for the first time. He is finding his voice, which is currently set to “cocky little sh-t.” Calvin is seasoned in the business, he’s a pro, he’s got the hottest chick in the game wearing his chain. He should not be sweating Zayn Malik or fan accounts. Zayn hasn’t even released a solo album, he could be a few months away from total obscurity. Why give him air?

So they are both losers, but for very different reasons. Calvin placated a brat, and Zayn tweets fan art. This feud is making me actually miss Orlando and Justin.

Oh but I left out the best part: Louis Tomlinson favourited Calvin Harris’s tweet. And that’s personal, which makes it much more interesting. Boy fight! Boy fight!