I don’t think I’ve ever been inside a 2,400 sq ft apartment. Cameron Diaz wants you to see what hers looks like.

Cam’s showing off her NYC home in ELLE Décor. Wait don’t look yet. Just…tell me first what you think her taste would be. I was seeing white. White and open. I was not expecting…

Versailles + Japan…? And a combination of some other design descriptions I don’t know the words for. The point is I was not expecting all that gold. Also I was not expecting a green and gold kitchen. Can you use that kitchen? Serious question. I don’t spend a lot of time in kitchen. I think I mentioned I only learned the word “colander” like 6 months ago? But this, to me, doesn’t look like a kitchen that people use every day. Maybe once a month for a dinner party? Once a quarter even? Call me an ignorant c-nt, I very well may be on this. I’m just seeing a pretend-kitchen here for posing though.

The bedroom however is great. I believe that bedroom. That kitchen might be lying to me but that bedroom is telling me the truth. And both the bathrooms are speaking a language I don’t understand.

Click here to see more of Cameron Diaz’s NYC apartment.

Big ups to another celebrity who’s cherry-picking her privacy. I mean, what could be more private than YOUR F-CKING HOME.