So I went to Canadian Idol last night. My first time, wanted to check it out. And I know you what you’re thinking because I was thinking the same.

You go in there thinking you’re too cool. You go in there thinking you’re above the screaming idiots. Like…whatever. You’re better than that. This sh-t is lame. And then you get there and you see the children. Kids huddled in the hallways finishing their posters adorned with glitter and tinsel and ribbon and kids with their parents, kids properly attired and not made up for a pervy beauty pageant, kids who believe that this is the single most exciting moment of their lives, kids passionately rooting for their favourites…I have to admit, even my bitch heart was warmed a little.

And then came the performances. It’s one thing to turn on the tv and criticise from the couch. It’s entirely another to feel the pressure of a live audience and watch these people so earnestly going for their dream. That’s the word that gets you. It’s earnest. Heartbreakingly earnest. Not only could I not bring myself to slag it, I actually temporarily lost my f&cking mind and got sucked in to the hysteria. I’m telling you…it was trippy. But in spite of yourself, you do end up rooting for them. Well...five out of six of them anyway. Maybe it’s because I’m not 14 year old girl with braces but that hillbilly honky tonk can go home – little mama milk boys with blonde hair and wide eyes never my thing. Carly Rae Jepson on the other hand… Love.Her.

Anyway, Canadian Idol tonight. Maroon 5 performs live… if that’s your thing. And if it is your thing, keep checking back. New giveaway coming up.

Finally, one last Idol comment. It’s one thing to be called a Judge and praise or piss on a performance. It’s entirely another to climb up there yourself and back that sh-t up. But for every time she stings with criticism, Sass Jordan gives it back a hundred times. I saw that crazy bitch kill it last night at Healy’s in Toronto. She hit every note, she rocked harder and stronger than anyone else who took the stage during the competition, and her breasts are spectacular.

Sass plays Monday nights at Healy’s following Canadian Idol.