Carey did not bring Shia. Boo. Carey lost to Sandra Bullock. Boo. Not that I don’t love Sandy. I do. But The Blind Side was not An Education. There was no comparing the performances.

Perhaps Carey’s loss was predicted by her sagging tits. Oh honey, give ‘em a hitch.

Duana, Michelle, and I we wanted to do it for her. Sometimes it’s automatic. You see a girl who’s droopy and it’s tempting to reach right in and set them up properly. Carey had this problem. And it was the only problem in an otherwise lovely choice. She seemed nervous when her award was up. Truly deflated when her name wasn’t called. Not like “bitch that was mine!” but endearingly disappointed. You’re allowed to be disappointed. You’re just not allowed to be ungracious, that’s the difference. Mom was there for support. But this is Hollywood. Two pouts and then we judge. So let’s work on our “loss” face. The way Sandy’s going, Carey could need it over and over again.

PS. Am told Tom Ford seemed very taken with Carey at the Weinstein afterparty. There is still a huge upside.

Photos from and