Not that Carmen Electra is newsworthy even on the slowest of newsdays but she seems to be everywhere of late, promoting the latest installment of the Scary Movie franchise. Seeing her brings up a very important question: boob jobs and nipples - something I spend an inordinate amount of time obsessing about. So here"s the thing - when you get a set of fake tits, do they sew your cherries back on in a way that makes them hard all the time? And is there a little extra substance injected in there to ensure that they portrude through every fabric known to man? Because I find this phenomenon exceptionally fascinating. And there are times when I blow on my girls frantically to get them to stand out and say hello but they insist on sleeping through even the most urgent of situations. Like the four years I spent eyef*cking my way to less than stellar results in university. So is a boob job the way to nippleitis longevity? You tell me.