You know how it is: 

Girl sh*t is the best sh*t. And I love a good bitch. But a bitch who hides her bitch under the guise of country wholesome sweetness? That bitch is more like a capital C.

We’re speaking of course of Carrie Underwood – her assy antics are well known to those in Nashville. It’s an item that was buried in the last issue of Us Weekly, the one that was eclipsed by the Holy Jolie Twins in People. Thanks to Jennifer I for the heads up. 

Apparently Carrie tells the magazine that she still hears from her ex boyfriend Tony Romo. That he still calls her. And that sometimes when she sees his number pop up she’ll let it go straight to voice.

Oh no she didn’t. 

Oh yes she did.

She just told Jessica Simpson via Us Weekly that her man still wants her. She just told Jessica Simpson via Us Weekly that if she wanted to, Tony would still be hers. 

Now Jessica Simpson is a lot of things… but she isn’t mean. She’s too dumb to be mean. Carrie Underwood on the other hand – Carrie Underwood is all kinds of mean. And she’s picking on someone who isn’t smart enough to give her some good bitch right back.

Another reason why Jess needs girlfriends. 

Honey, I’m here. 

Come On Over, Jess’s country album drops September 9. I pre-ordered. Because that’s what friends do. Will you be Jess’s friend too?