Experiencing midweek blues? Perfect time to feel badly about yourself. Unfortunately I’m not about to offer a solution. This is your warning to skip ahead.

Her name is Catherine Banner. She was 14 when she wrote this book. Now 19, it has finally been published, on sale today in England, the first in a trilogy and already predicted to be a bestseller. AND, to top it all off, she’s rather attractive. In an offbeat, funky kind of way with a great nose and full lips.

She has a book deal probably worth a sh*tload and her 20s ahead of her, full of bad breakups and fun f*cks, drama and heartache, an ass that won’t sag for another 10 years, small tits, and still time to screw up her credit without any super long lasting consequences.

Le sigh.

Am getting my stitches out in a couple of hours. Otherwise I’d crawl into bed with cupcakes and a bottle of shiraz and not come out til the weekend.