Did You Survive Celebrity Mother’s Day?

Maria Posted by Maria at May 14, 2012 14:40:41 May 14, 2012 14:40:41

(Lainey: How was your MotherΓÇÖs Day? MotherΓÇÖs Day belongs to Hollywood now. Does it feel like MotherΓÇÖs Day is being taken over by celebrities and their babies? None of the writers usually featured on this site have babies. So... meet Maria. Maria is a friend. She is also the Managing Editor of Vitamin Daily and just celebrated her first MotherΓÇÖs Day as a mother (of Jackson, born last year).

Last week, MariaΓÇÖs rage kept building and building in response to the Hollywood MotherΓÇÖs Day motherload so I asked her to share her thoughts. Were other mothers feeling the same? See below and then send us your thoughts!)

Did You Survive Celebrity MotherΓÇÖs Day?

I did. It was my first. I watched Breaking Bad gag reels and my son gave me a Shopbop gift card. Perfect. It felt like MotherΓÇÖs Day was ValentineΓÇÖs Day on steroids this year. Did you get that sense?

On Wednesday Lainey and I started talking about the marked uptick in mommy coverage. It was a bombardment; hereΓÇÖs a small (very small) sample. There were so many headlines, I stopped counting.

It starts with the AΓÇÖs:

Sandra Bullock ΓÇ£All the Love She NeedsΓÇ¥, which sounds like an ΓÇÿ80s power ballad.

Beyonce and Jay-Z ΓÇ£will have more kids.ΓÇ¥ (They just had their first, chill out people!)
Tina Knowles: ΓÇ£WeΓÇÖre excited to celebrate BeyonceΓÇÖs first MotherΓÇÖs Day.ΓÇ¥ DoesnΓÇÖt this go without saying? I mean they arenΓÇÖt going to be morose about it.

Gwyneth gets complimented on her childrenΓÇÖs manners. I canΓÇÖt even hate on this, because I actually believe Apple and Moses have impeccable manners.

Ben Affleck telling Jennifer Garner ΓÇô with whom, correct me if IΓÇÖm wrong, he has never walked a red carpet since theyΓÇÖve been married ΓÇô that sheΓÇÖs a ΓÇ£world-class momΓÇ¥ on Facebook. Ben knows exactly how it works; this small piece of parental pimping led to more exposure for the video, which is in support of his work in the Republic of Congo.

Not to be upstaged, Jessica SimpsonΓÇÖs nursery details (itΓÇÖs ΓÇ£boho,ΓÇ¥ in case you needed to know), tweets about being so in love with ΓÇ£Baby Maxwell,ΓÇ¥ and EricΓÇÖs ΓÇ£diaper duty fearΓÇ¥ on the cover of US Weekly. It sounds like a storyline from What to Expect When YouΓÇÖre Expecting, the movie. Simpson Family parental pimping is hereditary, like eye colour. ItΓÇÖs just part of their DNA.

Everyone played. Anna Farris and Chris Pratt announce her pregnancy just in time for The Dictator release. Kelly Preston: ΓÇ£I got sober to be a better mom,ΓÇ¥ which is a months old quote they are pulling out now because of JohnΓÇÖs handy j problem. Katherine Heigl outside a friendΓÇÖs house with her new baby in a bassinette ΓÇô what a coincidence that the paparazzi know where Katherine HeiglΓÇÖs friend lives.

Motherhood is the all-around strategy these days: itΓÇÖs how they go on the offense to book jobs and the defense to sanitize their image.

Ellen had a MotherΓÇÖs Day show, and Hilary Duff was a guest. DonΓÇÖt celebs usually go on talk shows to promote something? I guess Hilary was promotingΓǪ birth. She talked about delivery room snacks and her easy labour (her words, not mine).  Little Lizzie Maguire is trying so hard to stay relevant. Or become relevant again, depending on how you look at it. But she is doing a charity partnership with Johnson & Johnson and seems quite sweet. SheΓÇÖs the same age as Lindsay Lohan. At one point they were contemporaries (and were fighting over Aaron Carter!). So no matter how hard Hilary uses her momness, she isnΓÇÖt Lindsay Lohan. ThatΓÇÖs saying a lot.

And the hardest working mom pimp in the game: Jessica Alba on US Weekly.com with the caption ΓÇ£HavenΓÇÖs Fierce Mama.ΓÇ¥ I would rather have my photo caption read ΓÇ£Alba BitchΓÇ¥ than ΓÇ£HavenΓÇÖs Fierce MamaΓÇ¥, especially when my outfit is so damn cute!

Not to mention the shrewdly timed TIME Magazine cover and celeb reactions to it. YouΓÇÖve all seen it right? Of course you have. ItΓÇÖs Monday, so letΓÇÖs not get too deep. This is a cultural war and itΓÇÖs being waged on the playground.

And thatΓÇÖs just a sampling of what weΓÇÖre dealing with, not including the photo albums, special MotherΓÇÖs Day features (like the advice letters D-listers wrote their children to be published on USWeekly.com- huh?) and coverage on every pregnant celeb from Drew Barrymore to Molly Sims. It really does pay.

And it also shows what they think of us, the editors, the publicists, the marketeering teams. We are supposed to forget that Jessica Alba is an actress and accept her as an eco-friendly expert. We are supposed to be concerned with how Jessica Simpson loses her baby weight. They depend on us to care.

It would freak me out to have my kid photographed the way celebs do. I donΓÇÖt have Facebook even. And so few hide (Johnny Depp or James McAvoy are the only ones that come to mind). I know how photos are released is a discussion, but I wonder if why photos are released is ever talked about. Or is it just a forgone conclusion for most? They say teens have no filter when it comes to social media, that they put everything out there.

But no one overshares like a mom.

The only photo IΓÇÖd like to see is Linda Evangelista and Salma Hayek having a playdate.

We can change the conversation or start a new one. It doesnΓÇÖt have to be tut-tutting and giving side-eyes to moms who donΓÇÖt do it exactly like us. Step one: promise not to see What to Expect When YouΓÇÖre Expecting.

Wenn, Fame/Flynet, Splash, PCN

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