Jonah Hill is a 2 time Oscar nominee. He’s friends with Leonardo DiCaprio, Martin Scorsese, and Brange. He writes films. He’s supposed to know good writing. He’s supposed to know what’s funny. He’s supposed to know, MORE THAN YOU, what’s funny and what’s not funny. Which is why it was so f-cking satisfying that no one, apart from your 8 year old who stayed up too late, thought the bear bit was funny, although it would have had to have been approved by Leo. Because you know, YOU KNOW, that Jonah would not have done it if he hadn’t been given Leo’s blessing. The best indication of their friendship however is that there wasn’t one reaction shot of Leo during the joke. I’m not even sure he was in the room at the time. And that’s a classic Cool Kid move. He has his ride or die boys and those will always be the core, but he’ll let one charity case tag along, just to do the dirty work, be the punchline, be the entertainment, even if it means he’s humiliated. So if Jonah Hill ever figures out that he’s being used? I’ll be the first to fangirl the sh-t out of him. Until then, it’s almost sad.

Sad is also what Channing Tatum is doing with his hair. And I take no pleasure, none, in criticising Channing because he’s awesome. But between the boyband combover and the gross facial hair, there’s nothing for me here.