It was a week ago today that Her Serene Highness The Princess of Monaco Charlene Wittstock and Prince Albert showed us the first in what would eventually be a series of awkward kisses and interactions at their splashy wedding. The couple is on honeymoon in South Africa and attended a dinner party last night. Seven days and still... they haven’t quite mastered pretending to be in love.

Shall we Photo Assumption the Prisoner Bride?

Every time he touches her she looks like another part of her is dying. I’m not sure there’s much left. Those dead eyes... are only getting deader.

Many of you wrote to express impatience with Charlene following her 3 alleged failed escape attempts and after watching that video of her crying. Like she’s doing it for the money and if she really wanted to leave she could leave and you don’t feel sorry for her, whatever. Fair enough. That’s totally allowed. But there are women who find it hard to leave who haven’t married a controlling head of state, so I’m just saying, when the government comes to get you, and the police take away your passport, and, supposedly, you went to the French embassy and even they handed you back over to the Monaco authorities, it might be understandable that you would feel there’s nothing you could do. To say nothing of family pressures too.

Anyway, while we may disagree on Charlene, I think we can all agree that Albert is a prick, right? Laura pointed this out to me the other day after watching Charlene’s Tears. I was too fixated on Charlene’s face to notice initially, but Laura, ever the producer, picked up on Albert, who was so impatient with his bride, and embarrassed about her weeping, and couldn’t be bothered to show her any tenderness, actually look over to his other side and give someone a “hey what’s up brother” wink while his wife is trying not to collapse right beside him.


Kind of amazing.

See for yourself. Watch again starting at 2:35.

Photos from Jasper Juinen/