No really…why? Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen – they should totally be together. Is there a more perfect couple? These assholes deserve each other! It’s a mystery why they split!

As you know, they’ve been fighting forever about their kids, over money, terms of the divorce… now a voice message that Charlie left for Denise three years ago that was included in their court documents has somehow leaked to the tabloids.

Charlie calls his ex wife a "f--king c--t" and a "f--king n----r.” The first part is indisputable. The second inexcusable. If that word isn’t in your vocabulary, why would it suddenly be just because you’re angry?

Of course Charlie publicly apologised for his language and released a statement, making sure to point out that he has black friends, like that’s supposed to count for bonus points: "I deeply apologize by my choice of words to all I have obviously offended; especially to Tony Todd, an African-American, who was my best man at my first two weddings."

Doesn’t that make it worse? Douche.

As for Denise, she claims she has no idea how the tapes leaked. Bitch… please!

He’s a racist, jackass prick piece of sh*t, she’s a liar, an opportunist, a whore, and now a pimp… so again:

Why are they apart???