Hot Harry is hot on a horse. And if he’s anything like Henry the VIII, he’s also a randy motherf&cker. Which is why his royal wand and wild red streak is constantly getting him into trouble.

Through it all, however, my Chelsy has been a stalwart companion. Chelsy, as we know, is bred for this life bred for this life - what’s a skank or two when she could be the princess? And 3rd in line to be the queen?

Girls like Chelsy have their eyes on the big prize.

And girls like Chelsy know when to take care of their investments. Which is why Chelsy is said to be moving from Africa to study at Leeds University to stay closer to her Harry. Well played.

Also - another angle on that Cowboys scandal from Calgary several weeks ago. You will recall, Hot Harry on Horse rode into town for some military training, ended up at Cowboys, where shooters are thrown back often off of fake tits and the girls have no compunction about trading gropes for great tips. Apparently Harry got it on with one or two low rent tramps who sold their stories and photos to the British papers…

However, now that the scandal has subsided, a new (utterly boring) version of events is revealing itself. The owners of Cowboys, who allegedly pay for boob jobs six months into the job, upon hearing that Harry would be stopping by, also allegedly ordered their staff to trap the Prince into a compromising position in exchange for publicity about their establishment. Not exactly a tough assignment.

So they worked him and flirted with him at the bar, then begged and begged him to go outside for a ciggie and then arranged for a photograph to be taken suggesting they went home together when they didn’t. Job well done, job well paid for.

Unfortunately, as is often the case with these twats, their mouths are as wide open as their legs. Which is why this is now leaking.

I personally prefer the sordid version. Who wants to believe that Hot Harry on a Horse is horny AND faithful?