Duana alerted me to the fact that NY Mag referred to Chloë Grace Moretz as a “teenage umlaut” last week, screaming in laughter.

Anyway, she’s in Gucci and she’s wearing the same platforms I hated on Keri Russell a few weeks ago – click here for a refresher. I bought the same pair though. But like this:

It’s those stripes. With the stripes, the platform is so much less offensive. Check it in play with a good outfit:

See how the stripes almost negate the height?

That’s the key to these shoes. They can never be worn with tight and body-con. It can never be above the knee.