Just got back from a screening of The Dark Knight (IMAX). Will not bother reviewing it since you can read any number of reviews about Heath Ledger’s brilliance anywhere on the web with one quick click.

Just see it. That’s all.

Focusing instead on commentary that film critics are too high brow to note....and that is The Hotness. The Multiple Hotness. There is Hotness all over this f&cking movie.

Thought I was going to cry out from lust every time Christian Bale appears as Bruce Wayne. He is so beautiful, I defy you not to let out a low moan every time he rocks that suit. The yacht...look for the yacht.

And then that sexy beast Gary Oldman...maybe not as sexy as he was as Sirius Black but there is a part when Commissioner Gordon kicks some ass in a swat team uni and there you go... that’s what Uma wanted way back when.

But if your loins aren’t moving for Oldman or for Bale, it’ll be Aaron Eckhart. Am not a fan of Aaron Eckhart. Am a fan of Aaron Eckhart under the direction of Christopher Nolan who makes Tim Burton, not exactly a lightweight, look like Santa Claus.

Finally...

My Maggie. Girlcrushing hard on Maggie Gyllenhaal, more than ever before. If you’re about to write to me telling me she’s ugly... save it. We can’t all look like Cindy Crawford. But when you DON’T look like Cindy Crawford and you’re still sexy as hell because you’re smart as hell and you look great in a waistcoat with a pair of tailored pants, then maybe not looking like Cindy Crawford is just as attractive. Or more.

So in honour of The Dark Knight, the Freebie Five has been updated.

Go see it soon. And preferably on IMAX.