Christina Aguilera has apparently been waving around a new ring. You know, I don’t get ring porn. Or bauble porn of any kind. I guess I’m dumb because of the value discrepancy but a good bag excites me so much more than a diamond. And, frankly, I find some people with their huuuuuuge diamonds a little tacky. Can you honestly tell me that sh-t is practical?

Anyway, whatever. KFed Aguilera (birth name Matthew Rutler) supposedly bought her something for her finger. cites a source that says that it was a surprise birthday gift but is not meant to be an engagement gift. Who cares what kind of gift it is.

The real question is: how did he pay for it?

Because, you know, he was a PA on the set of Burlesque when they met. She also happened to be married then. And now he has no job, doesn’t bother performing with his band, and spends his days holding her hand and opening her doors, internationally and domestically. So… kinda like Jessica Simpson’s fiancé. But shorter.

These girls and their losers. It’s the great equaliser, right? Love is democratic. Rich or poor, girls will always find losers. WHY do we do this?

Here are Christina and her KFed on New Year’s Eve picking up some lunch to feed her toe. I know you can see The Toe. That Toe looks like it can eat.

Photos from