Oh, f-ck it, I don’t care.

Let me just look at you. You looked so thoughtful yesterday, thoughtful even when you’re pumping gas. It’s sexy that you don’t need a driver but why, baby, why drive an Escalade? I would have never pictured you in an Escalade.

Is it a rental? Must be a rental. You know they rent Priuses these days, right? You probably don’t know that at all. You’re probably hopelessly disorganised. I could organise for you. I could…but I can’t. I’ve chosen Duana, my good friend, over you…which means I can no longer make advances.

But staring isn’t against the rules.

How I enjoy staring at you.

It’s the way a man stands, you know? You stand so good. With your hand on your hip and your fingers on your chin and your pants falling perfectly just so and that hat, that hat screams sex on you, it screams sex…

So why are you hanging out in LA? Is it for Salma? If so, I don’t blame you. That is a woman. We know you like women.

But Colin, please be careful. Please don’t let her break you. She can break you. And while the image of her trying to break you should be put on video, the trying must not lead to succeeding.

The whole point is that you try to break back.

It could challenge Pitt Porn… oh la.

Love,

Lainey

Photos from Bauergriffinonline.com