Remember Victoria Beckham’s birthday a couple of weeks ago and she tweeted a photo of her birthday “cake” which was actually a birthday fruit platter because, obviously?

Today is David Beckham’s birthday and he just posted a few pictures on his Facebook including a shot of his birthday breakfast and...I don’t see any fruit. I see scrambled eggs, hardboiled eggs, bacon, sausage... F-CK I want that SO MUCH. Yesterday was my first day of eating super clean in preparation for Cannes in two weeks. Turkey is just so unsatisfying. Having said that, Cannes is literally 10 days of just rosé and fois gras and runny cheese. It’s balance, it’s balance. God but imagine if that was all the time? How does she do it? How does she exist on steamed broccoli and one bite of fish a day every day all year FOREVER? I remember Barbara Walters once asked her - do you ever have a cookie? Just one cookie? She said no; she never, never indulges. If I had that kind of discipline maybe I would have been able to be a doctor like my ma always wanted.