He is an original. And his classic pose “playing” in the playground should never be imitated. It is never the same. EVER.

But here’s Cristiano Ronaldo, in his new ads for Armani, holding onto his imaginary business in his pocket fronting like he’s the sweaty pervy equivalent of Tom Cruise. Blasphemy. 

Previous to this, Robert Pattinson last year was photographed for GQ holding on to his penis rope like it’s long enough to be dragged. Both of them grossly inferior to the original. 

How can anything compare to my darling Tom Cruise auditing himself in the pages of Rolling Stone?