Dakota Johnson. In Chanel. Nothing in the dress speaks to the theme of the MET Gala. And then you look at her eyes. And because it’s the MET Gala and the theme is China: Through The Looking Glass, and her dress isn’t China at all, now I’m wondering if she and her makeup artist were like, we’ll just give you some slanty eyes and you’re good to go! I just spent several minutes looking at photos of her through the Fifty Shades press tour. And she’s never had her eyes done like this before.

It’s troubling. And so is her hair.

Go back to what I wrote about Gabrielle Union’s hair – click here. The length of it. The difficulty of his length. Gabrielle can. Dakota Johnson cannot.