Jennifer Lopez is in New York promoting her new album. Here she is on the publicity circuit yesterday looking great in leather pants and wedge sneakers, a trend that’s lasting a lot longer than I expected it to, and a sheer, peter pan collar black dress with off-white pumps. Great. It’s always great when Slum Bear isn’t around.

When Slum Bear is around she always seems to be deferring to him. And ... well... he gets his own umbrella handlers. TWO OF THEM.



Yes. Because she’s stupid enough to have promoted him within her team. Unlike Madonna who keeps her boy in the chorus, JLO has to push her love up to the front, in the lead.

You know who DOESN’T need an umbrella handler? You know who doesn’t need an umbrella, period? THREE TIME OSCAR WINNER DANIEL DAY-LEWIS.