Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Cruise. They’re both un-tall. And both rather earnest. And eager to the point of not-coolness...which is cool in Dan’s case because it’s refreshing a young man of his age who doesn’t feel the need to conform to the brooding, hair in my face, dirty clothes ennui that so many of his contemporaries have succumbed to; and uncool in Tom’s case because, well, the eagerness is what happens when he gets off his motorcycle, in a display of manliness so studied it almost makes you angry how hard he tries. Dan is proof you can be enthusiastic and animated without losing authenticity or appeal.

This is Dan hand in hand with his girlfriend yesterday in New York. Not sure who she is. There was some speculation that he was involved with a bad girl relative of one of the Harry Potter producers - click here for more on that. My eyes are buggy but I don’t think that’s the same person.

Whatever. Her identity doesn’t matter. What matters is that he very publicly declared his love for her a couple of months ago during an interview with Larry King.

“I've got a girlfriend at the moment who I am very much in love with. So you know, we'll see where that goes.”

Just kinda offered up the information, without being pressed. And this is generally the way Daniel is in interviews - he is always a great interview - but there was also something of the love burst in him there, the way you are when you’re so into a person, probably early in the relationship, when everything but everything reminds you of them, and you want to talk about them when you’re not with them, and just saying their name is like a little lift in your stomach, and this, supposedly, is what happened to Tom Cruise the day he jumped on Oprah’s couch, you remember? He had the love burst. Every answer to every question he was like - what? Katie? And Oprah’s all like - oh boy, you got it bad. And the rest of us were all like - oh no, why are you making me want to DIE?

What’s the difference between how Daniel delivered it, and how Tom did? And our reactions to both? Perhaps it’s because Tom kept going there, even after he’d made it obvious. There was never any pull back. Please! HE DOESN’T PULL BACK, HE’S TOM CRUISE! FULL THROTTLE TOO CLOSE FOR MISSILES I’M SWITCHING TO GUNS!!!

Great. But his guns can be a little too much in my face. And this is why we so doubted it. Is he trying to convince us that he loves her? Or is he trying to convince himself? As opposed to Daniel Radcliffe who doesn’t seem like he gives a sh-t about trying to convince anyone , either about his girlfriend or about being gay or not gay which, you know, sometimes the bigger the fighter jet, the more obvious the secret, but then again Tom Cruise has never really understood subtlety.

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